A special day when my new allied ~THE~HEROES~

Be it tears or laughters,

Cannot get to sleep, many thoughts ran through my mind, out of a sudden, i felt quite stressed and lost, mood became swing, tears just gathered in my eyes, about what, and why, frankly speaking, i don't know. All i know was, audition screwed up my life, robbed my happiness & smile. Sounded emo, but, indeed, im feeling down, very down. Im not happy at all.

I do not wish to say that this beloved fam of mine is a burden, my time & effort on this fam is indeed alot, i don't gained a cent from this fam, all i wished for is the cooperation of every member, but guess i no longer see it. The past work, effort, the love for this fam, where had it gone to? Im stressing over the buying of channel, trying to win some "lamers" who were not using the right method to obtain a channel, but when a fam channel was bought, where were the members? Scattered around? All over audition servers except for fam channel? Why not we do it in a simple way, if my fam is too strict, too stress, please kindly leave? Save my tears, my anger and even my stress?

I am a very soft hearted fam master, i cant even bear to expel when my words are being taken for granted, but what do i get? Nothing. Maybe im being classified as a "fool", maybe i should just resort using expel when any fam member do not cooperate with me? Take a look at the fam center, the ranking, the differences between others and mine? Is letting go the only way? Is giving up the only ending the fam should face? I do not need a big fam with useless members, doing nothing, and being selfish? I need members who can face with me the path ahead, even end up losing, at least we tried, we fought for it?

I could no longer trust the members in this fam. I find that, -MTY- is no longer a warm place to stay in, is no longer a big family, no more bondings? Back stabbers? Liars? Two headed snakes? Plots? Plans? WHY? Why cant we just go back to the past, where laughters and jokes were? Why must this fam be divided into so many groups? Where are all my blue leaders? Arent all of you supposed to assist me? I understand school busy, working schedules tight, but logging on a while once a day to check the fam out, is it too much to request and ask for? If i had to buy channel, finding sources to help the fam, and i still need to be the one to guide the members to the fam channels, checking them out, why do i need the blues for? Why not let me be the only red around, since i need to do everything all by myself? I promoted members from green to blue, cause i've trust and confidence, all will do a good job? Where were the promises to help me, to help the fam? Where were the bondings between the fam members and the leaders? LOL!

Lastly, -MeToYou-, no matter how much i loved this fam, is never an easy task to protect this fam, im trying my very best, it takes two hands to clap, i'll still fall someday if im always left alone facing what was ahead, this game is no longer meaningful...if i decided to let go, it will become a beautiful memory and dream for all of us =)